Well, I've come down to two possible things; I am depressed, or I'm being stupid. Or both, or completely without a clue
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First off I apologize, It's not in my nature to ask of help, even less to open up as it were. I'm not even sure how this is suppose to work, but I do know that there are good people here, and no one knows me personally (save for a few >.>). So, here goes nothing.
I feel down, and I've felt like that for a really long time now. I use to think that it was just something that would pass, or it was because of this or that that eventually came and gone. And that feeling's still there. It's been there for about three years now. I can't really describe it without being cliche, but it feels kind of shotty. So what's got me feeling like this? I can make good guesses using what's been happening lately.
Where I'm at right now, I hardly know anyone. Those I do know are people from the Tech school and from work, students and associates. And that's how they all seem to want to be. No one that I do know has any interest in hanging out or do something apart from our interactions at school/work. I can kind of understand it though; who'd want their job or school work in their home life? But sheesh...
And work, that's it's own little can of worms. I work as a "courtesy clerk" in a grocery store, basically I bag stuff, push carts, and clean up what ever someone spills or spews. It's a low paying job, with chaotic hours. But I do like it to a point. I mean, you do indeed meet interesting people, and learn interesting things. But what does get me is some of the customers and people I work with. Some customers are down right rude, never even taking the time to look at you, or only speak to you to tell you that they don't like the way your doing something. Others seem to have no regard for your safety or courtesy.
The other day while doing carts I was almost hit by someone who was racing to beat someone else to a parking spot. When he came out he started to yell at me for not moving fast enough. Yes, I can move quite quickly while pushing about eight carts. I can also fly and stop a speeding train. And then there's those who ask for help out, tell you where to put their crap, and hop in the car without saying another word to you. I don't mind helping people out with their stuff, hell it's pretty much my bane to help people, but jeez...I'm a bloody human being! Treat me like one, even if it is just small talk or something I have no interest or understanding of...
I don't know, there's so much to say and a whole lot of ranting and confusion. And a lot of little things from the past that are coming back. I just don't know how to describe, much less talk about it all without it all sounding so whiny, ranty, or bluntly cliche
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