So...I have this problem.....and uh....I need help

[Ishtar]

So....I'm not one to normally do this....I give advice usually, seeing as I am confident in my abilities to make a rational, and logical decision. However, I am at a loss for this particular problem, so I have decided to get some outside advice from you guys, and hopefully see what you think. I have a girl problem...and normally, Im great with women. Seriously...pick of the litter, not to sound too overly arrogant. There is this one girl that has been attracted to me for a long time, like seriously hardcore in love with me. I mean we're good friends, but I can never see it going anywhere. Unfortuantly, she thinks we're dating...and I'm not entirely sure how that happened. I've given her pleanty of hints that I didn't want a relationship with her, and that I wanted nothing to do with her sexually in all reality. I have super strong feelings for another girl, (this is where it gets complicated) and she has the same feelings for me. Here are the following problems:
Problem #1: Girl A that I don't like pretty much ignores all my attempts to end said "relationship" and without outright saying I'm breaking up with you....is still persistant. Its not good because like I said we've become close and I don't want her to hate me for all eternity or anything, on top of that I helped her out of a major rough spot in her life which is how we are close.
Problem #2: Girl B is 16, going on 17. Im 19. Not a huge issue right? I mean we've known eachother for a long time. Well, her stepfather is a huge dick. Says that we can't see eachother, text, call, email, facebook etc. I've done so twice and been caught twice doing so. He's not a very nice man, always going on about going to court and getting me arrested (which he could probably do because he's a cop). But I called a couple places including an attorney and the guy can really only get me on contributing to the delinquency of a minor...which I think is ridculous. The problem being, Girl A thinks that Girl B is okay with the whole multiple realtionships thing and Girl B is not. (I'm honestly in love with Girl B btw)

Problem #3: I want to be with Girl B but Girl A won't let go and Girl B is concerned about me because she knows what kind of stress Girl A puts on me. So I need to know how to work this entire mess out. If you guys and gals of furdom can shed some light on this, it would be amazing.
Thanks a bunch

[Television17]

I'm not very good at romance, specifically, but, as I classify phsychology as a science, I am compelled to excell in it.
Here are some ideas:
Possible solution to problem #1: Try sitting down with girl A, and telling you how you feel. Tell her that you really like her as a person, but don't want to have a serious relationship with her, as you are afraid your friendship may be destroyed because of it (there would almost definitely be some validity to this statement, even if you are out-and-out lying). Alternatively, tell her that you'd like to stay friends with her, but you'd also like to have a more romantic relationship with girl B, and if it doesn't work out, you'll think about having a relationship with her. This way, you have reassured her that there is still some hope for you two (in her eyes, at least), but haven't made any sort of commitment, meaning you won't feel guilty if you break up with girl B, and don't go out with girl A.

Possible solution to problem #2: If you can be very patient, you can wait through the year until girl B turns 18. This way, her stepfather has no grounds on which to accuse you (not that he had many to start with anyway). Alternatively, see if you can gain Girl B's stepfathers trust. Find some common ground, such as fishing, and invite him. This way, you can calmly talk out your differences. He'll probably say something like,
"I only want what's best for her", and you can respond with, "That's why I want to be with her. To protect her from all the thugs, theives and gangsters who might be with her otherwise". Remember, you don't have to like him, or be his friend, you just have to make him think you are. This tactic, of course, runs on the idea that you haven't completely outruled the chances of talking rationally with him.

Possible solution to problem #3: If girl A is putting stress on you, try to get her to ease off. Tell her that she's stressing you, or that you need to do homework or something. Having some time apart will not only help cool you down, but will also make her less clingy, "weaning" her off of you, so to speak.

I hope that you find solace and comfort in the future, and that this advice helps you in some way.
Regards, Television17

[Honey]

If i can just say something here..

Never ever tell a person "i cant be together with you because im afraid to destroy our friendship" - EVER!!

I know you say that to protect the other person, but in the long run all you do is hurting them more. By saying that you are actually giving that person a false hope for something that would or could never happen. And that is WRONG and very cruel.

Now, as i see this whole situation..

I understand you are trying to avoid hurting anyone's feeling here - am i right? Well im really sorry to say this but thats impossible as things are now. If you really care about the relation between you amd Girl A, the only right thing to do is to sit down and have a nice honest talk with her. Tell her what you feel. That you really cherish her company and being as a FRIEND but you are and will not be interested in her as a parner. That might upset her and hurt her feelings at the moment, but in the long run she will be less hurt than if you gave her some kind of false hope that you might end up being with her.

If she still wont listen after you have told her that and still see you as her BF you need to be strict and tell her to either back off or say goodbye to you as a friend. I know it might sound cruel and harsh to do that, but in the end you really need to be able to stay true to yourself before you can stay true to others.

I understand Girl A is putting a lot of stress and pressure on you with her behaviour and quite frankly, if she doesnt understand a clear message she aint worth being with. Friends should be there as your support not as a burden.

For your other problem. Well since she is still under 18 there aint really much you can do. Her parrents still have the last vote in this matter. I disagree with the "winning the trust of her stepfather" by finding a common interest and telling him you only want her the best. Thats something that works good in a movie but not in reallity. My best advice would be to take it easy for a time. No need to poke the dragon in the eye with the stick if its already angry. Maybe you can work out some clever way to see each other. But i would strongly advice you to not anger her step dad on purpose more than necessary.

Your 3rd problem should really solve itself when you tell Girl A that nothing is going to happen and keep it that way.

[Slipstreme]

Tell Girl A that exactly how you feel. If she can't let you go then there is probably going to be problems down the line. My best friend has a stalker ex boyfriend who could not let her go, that has harassed her for three years. It can get this bad.
It is up to you to determine how much of her you can deal with. Best case scenario, she will still be friends with you. You have to let her know you do not love her and have not been into her sexually from the beginning, but that you still like her as a person. Yes it is going to hurt her. 

As far as Girl B goes, wait till you are able to be with her. Also if you are over 18 and so is she, her parents can't really do anything to stop the two of you from being together. The best thing I can say is to take it slowly. Like has been said before, it is possible to gain her stepfathers trust, even if it takes forever.

However parents can be a bitch to deal with. I know of someone who divorced with his wife over her parents for this very reason, because they harassed him and her on a daily basis because they were together. If it gets this bad, the two of you will have to determine whether to leave the parents behind. I have had to move far away from my folks for this reason, that they did not approve of my relationship in the first place. Tensions eventually settled down, but I can still tell my mom is not really ok with it.

[Crystalus]

Well, there's not much I can add to the good advice so far :)

You basically need to sit down and have a talk with Girl A, being as open and honest as you can, but not overly so. Let her know what you think and feel.

For Girl B, yeeeeaaaaaah...that slight age gap is going to be a bit of a problem, You see, a few years difference isn't that bad, but a 18 year old going with a 16/17 year old is still seen as under age since the other party is under the legal age of 18. Don't ask how that works, I don't think that even those at the wheel do either . Best thing to do is to wait until Girl B turns 18, at the very least Dick Dad will lose the grounds to threaten you with sicking the law on your tail as far as age goes.

The third could potentially be the biggest problem, for all that was stated above. If Girl A won't take no for an answer, it's a good possibility that she'll follow you to the ends of the earth and do anything to keep you as hers. Also keep in mind that you are dealing with those your age and younger, that you can't always expect the other parties to be mature about this situation. For now, try talking to Girl A and wait with Girl B. Then, see what bridge you're coming to before crossing it...or something like that >.>

[Orange Neko]

For Girl B, yeeeeaaaaaah...that slight age gap is going to be a bit of a problem, You see, a few years difference isn't that bad, but a 18 year old going with a 16/17 year old is still seen as under age since the other party is under the legal age of 18.

I suggest the age rule:
half your age+7 is the lowest age you should date

It gets kinda awkward after age 50 and before 12 though. 

[Ishtar]

*forgot about this post too*
Thank you all for all the wonderful advice. I am going to be combining all of it and hopefully work out some conclusion. Though, Girl B I was just asking about cuz I wondered if it was wrong like her dad said...I mean I didnt think so but I did need the outside opinion. Also, her dad has forbidden me to contact her or her family again...so winning the trust of the father is not oging to work. *sits down* Guess ima just have to wait for her to turn 18...*  Anyways, I have also offcially come to the conclusion that Girl A is crazy...and that I am going to have to be delicate in the way I handle this.....so ya. I'll let you know how it goes and if you guys have any other advice let me know.

[Dsc]

She can fight for you Ishtar. Her father can take you to court, but if she stands at your side and as you've said and pointed out, that she does care about you, she can stop her dad. Its her father, not yours or your problem to deal with, she has to take a stand against such people. Otherwise they'll control that person for the rest of their life.

To Crystaliss

No problem there, my sister was 14 but she got knocked up by an 18 year old and its been 8 years since then. The cops did do jack about that problem. They didn't stop her or anything like that.

Back to the point:

Another thing, her dad is abusing his 'power', if he takes you to court, you can fight about him abusing the power and using it to control daughter. He can't deny it because its what he is doing. And hes making threats to you! And hes older then you! Thats another abuse of his law power.

http://www.flexyourrights.com/

Heres a site in dealing with cops. Any cops.

And about girl a? Well, tell her it straight through. She hasn't listened to you before, just tell it to her. And if she refuses. Well, if shes older then you, you can charge her for harasement.