A Rant

[Ishtar]

Okay. So I normally don’t vent, I really don’t see the point in it. But I am pretty pissed off right now. Reasoning behind it, surmounts to the fact that I really cannot stand most of the human population. True, I acknowledge the fact that I am one of them, but I generally do not associate myself in the same category. Yes, I am aware of how arrogant that sounds, and for that I apologize. I just cannot stand a lot of people. I do not know what it is, but for whatever reason, I find that most of them act irrational, childish, irresponsible, and somehow just find a way to irritate me. Whether or not it is intentional I cannot say, though, for the sake of not sounding paranoid, I know they all are not out to get me, and I need to learn tolerance. Yet I digress, my issue is the fact that I really hate being called gay. I mean no offense to any of you that are; I have no problem with people that prefer their own sex. It doesn’t affect me and I disagree with the fact that people should be judged on whom they choose to have relations with. It infuriates me when people use gay as a derogatory term, something used to make fun of others. I experienced such a thing today. One of my “friends” asked me, “And you wonder why people think you’re gay?” Innocent enough statement…but when the implications behind it are used to ridicule it just pisses me off. All I said was the name of a color of a car; I believe it was candy apple red. The response I received was the above question. I politely asked the person to refrain from saying that again. They proceeded down the line of questioning again, and said, “I mean really? Most people don’t know the names of colors.” Of which I responded with, “So it’s bad to actually know colors, like periwinkle blue, mauve, salmon, etc.” This in turn was responded with again, “Yeah and you wonder why people think you’re gay.” They said it with complete sincerity, as an honest question towards my sexuality. I told them it wasn’t funny, and I didn’t appreciate the humor in it. I mean I am straight, and being called gay doesn’t offend me, but it does grate on one of my nerves when it’s used as a put down. There’s a long story about the reasoning behind it, the short version is I was sexually harassed to the extreme in middle school because I was not the typical “Guy.” I enjoyed reading, science, and an intelligent conversation that didn’t have anything to do with boobs, vaginas, sports or cars. Apparently, for a male, this deviates from the social norm, and as such, I was harassed. For an example, I walked into the locker room one day, and some guy saw me; he proceeded to spray Axe on his penis. When his friend asked why he did that he responded with, “Oh, it’s so it smells nice for when (Insert my name here) sucks it next.” Stuff like that. I would walk into the classroom set my books down and leave to get a drink of water, only to return and find them in the trash; or my homework would be taken and torn up, or just plain stolen. So, aside from the memories such a term used in the derogatory sense brings up, and the fact that I do have friends that are gay, when someone says that it just really pisses me off. In fact, I will say that it makes me angry. Angry for me is not an emotion that I experience often. Mainly because while a lot of things may irritate me, or piss me off, it does not reach the level of me being actually angry. Tonight I was angry. I snapped at a few of my co-workers and I later went to apologize because it was not them I was angry at, and the misdirection that it took towards them was unfair. *Shrugs* Anyways, I just needed to write my thoughts out and try to calm myself down. I’m still pretty irritated about it, which, to me, does not make sense. To feel anger towards something that I cannot change is irrational. In truth, I do not know how to handle this situation. I have tried to tell this person that it offends me and that it just rubs me the wrong way, and they say okay while smiling and then later make a joke out of it yet again. If you furs have any ideas I would be welcome to hearing them, because I am at a loss of what I should do and how I should respond in calm rational way that will not offend them. All the methods that I have employed have had no effect whatsoever. If I would respond in a way that satisfies me, I would lose a friend, and cause them to be upset. Something I wish to avoid. Again I wish to convey that I mean no disrespect to anybody who views this, it is not my intention and I do hope that I have not offended anyone; if so, feel free to take it down or address it. Thanks to all that read this and respond. I truly appreciate it, for taking time out of your day (or night) to respond to my issues. Thank you, once again.

~Ishtar
P.S. I am amending this as I have had some time to converse with this person. They told me that the world isn’t rational, and that I shouldn’t try to make sense of everything. This I do not understand.

[Joe 2.0]

 Same thing has at one time happened to me, but I take the hits as they come. At the moment most people besides a select few of my freinds tend to avoid me (Apparently having a small armory contained within your house, and an inability to tear my mind away from firearms also deviates from the social norm.) And as to what your freind said about life being Irrational, heed that advice. You cannot predict with 100% accuracy Human mind, and therefore cannot predict with 100% accuracy the actions of those around you, therefore making life unpredictable. I find it, the more you try to make sense of the things around you (from a purely psychological standpoint) The more they will grate on you, For instance, If some dumbass called you (place really annoing insult here) for absolutely no reason other than to do that, you would be trying to make sense of something that there was absolutely no sense in.

                                                                                                                                                I hope this helps, I really do, Sincerely
                                                                                                                                                                                  J.M. Winter

[Ishtar]

I appreciate it, like I said. I understand the fact that nothing is 100% certain and cannot be predicted, yet, the way my mind works is I am usually able to forsee every possible scenario, like which path the future is most likely to take. This has to do with both the fact that I can read people like books, and that makes it easy to predict their behavior. So that is what I meant, when I said I do not understand on how I am supposed to think differently, most things are cut and dry for me, and I'm not often surprised....if that makes sense.

[Orange Neko]

Yes I agree I do not like most of the population. Most of this is either jealousy or as you put it:

I find that most of them act irrational, childish, irresponsible, and somehow just find a way to irritate me.

So my liking of the human race as a whole diminished. Eventually I discovered the Technological Singularity and AI. I thought that maby us imperfect beings could create something that could better itself and send it off into space with most of the population not knowing about it. Then later meet up with it in a couple hundred years and see what has become of it.

[Zenri]

Wow that took a while to read, but it's true that the majority of the human race is quick to judge. It also completely pisses me off when people use "Gay" instead of "Lame" or "Stupid". As in my mind, I can tell that they are doing it innocently, but it makes me believe that they think Gay people are "lame" or "stupid". I just confront them and say "I would appreciate it if you didn't exchange the word "gay" for "lame", or "stupid"". Some of the time they listen but most of the time they continue. I personally have no advice to give as I have not found a way to make someone stop exchanging words as the way they have learned them.

I do hope you can continue your friendship and also have said person stop using gay as a derogatory term.

[Slipstreme]

Unfortunately some people just dont get it no matter how many times you tell them. Trust me on this one. It is something you either have to be able to put behind you and deal with the fact your friend does this occassionally, or it is eventually going to rip the two of you apart. I wont even say that it is that people are stupid (which we all accept most are) but that they are instinctual. It takes a long time for anyone to break a habit, even if that habit pisses someone off or hurts someone unintentionally. That person has to want to change to start changing and has to see this need to change as a big deal. If they don't they won't, period.

So you may find yourself having to ask your friend not to call things you do gay for the rest of your life. This can get annoying, especially when it feels like you have asked them over and over again, and you are feeling ignored. It is possible said friend has forgotten it each time (as I have forgotten things that piss my three off a few times, it happens) regardless of being reminded. Or it is possible he doesn't care or see it as a big deal. That also happens.

As far as others using it as insult, that will probably continue until the culture has assimilated gay and bisexual thinking as a normal facet of life, just as being straight is. This can take hundreds of thousands of years. There have been many cultures who eventually have done this, but they are few and far between.